Ghetto Super Smurf

2002-11-07T21:28:00.000-08:00

I finally got that slurpee and those nachos I was aching for during ceramics today. It cost me the Vets Day assembly, but it was worth it. Oh baby yeah, it was worth it. I think the war heros from back in the day would have skipped for a slurpee too.

2002-11-01T12:18:00.000-08:00

Wow. It's been a year, although my archives don't show it because Blogger is being a jackhole right now, that I've been writing in this here bottomless pit. Happy birthday Opinion Pie/ Ghetto Super Smurf.

2002-10-28T17:29:00.000-08:00

I saw Jackass. It was great. I will see it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again UNTIL I DIE OR MY VCR EATS THE TAPE. So there.

Here's something new for you to read: I AM WHOOPI

I'm such a conformist. ha.

2002-10-08T16:31:00.000-07:00

I have a super story. It's super.

So in 2nd period today (ceramics), I was sitting there listening to the three girls that sit across from me talk. They are very interesting to listen to. Anyway, the one girl, we'll call her "Girl One" was talking to the second girl, we'll call her "Girl Two".

Girl One: AH There's glitter in my clay!!!! "Girl Two", you got glitter in my clay!!
Girl Two: I didn't get it in there. You're the one who always wears glitter!
Girl One: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ME WEAR GLITTER!?
Girl Two: Yesterday you were. You were wearing my glitter lip gloss.
Girl One: I didn't know it had glitter in it.
Girl Two : (Mockingly) I didn't know you didn't know it had glitter in it... ehhhh!

Girl One smacks Girl Two very hard in the middle of the forehead.

Girl Two: (Firmly) Don't fucking hit me. You don't fucking hit people in the face.
Girl One: But it was funny. (In little kid voice)
Girl Two I'm serious, you don't fucking hit people in the face.
Girl One: (Laughs)

Girl Two slaps Girl One across the face, not very hard at all.

Girl One storms off to the bathroom to cry.

Girl Two: (Murmers) Stupid bitch....
Me: (Trying not to laugh) She deserved that.

Girl One comes back in. (Enter Girl Three)
Girl One stabs her clay creation with Girl Three's car keys.

Girl Three: AHH! YOU GOT CLAY ON MY CAR KEYS!

Girl One throws clay creation on the floor and stomps on it.

Girl Two: I want some nachos.
Me: (Cracks up)

Girl One storms to the bathroom again to cry, then comes back a little while later.

Girl Three: What's wrong?
Girl One: I already told you.
Girl Three: You wouldn't tell me!
Girl One: Well, the last time you were upset you wouldn't tell ME what was wrong.
Girl Three: You were acting like a bitch to me that morning.
Girl Two: (Murmers again) She's always a bitch.
Girl One: I remember actually TRYING to be nice to you that morning.
Girl Three: You're never nice to me! Maybe you are just a mean person.
Girl One: WELL I GUESS WE SHOULDN'T BE FRIENDS ANYMORE!
Girl Three: Okay.

Girl One begins writing a note.

Girl Two: I still want nachos.
Me: Yeah... and a Slurpee
Girl Two: YEAH!

Girl One throws the note at Girl Three.

Girl Three: What is this?
Girl One: READ IT!
Girl Three: WHY CAN'T YOU TALK TO ME!? WE'RE IN THE SAME ROOM!
Girl One: I'll get too mad.

Girl One goes to the bathroom again to cry.
Girl Three leaves to the bathroom after reading the note.
Girl Three comes back, Girl One follows.

Girl One sits there crying for the rest of the period.

Girl Two: I don't have a car to get nachos.

2002-10-01T17:30:00.000-07:00

Would anyone maybe, perchance, want to help me work out some things that I can't figure out for my new blog?

I'll be your best friend...

2002-10-01T16:14:00.000-07:00

Two days later and I'm still thinking about why my math teacher said, "Consider the square".

2002-09-25T16:08:00.000-07:00

testing

2002-09-23T16:37:00.000-07:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I made crew for Oklahoma! I'm doing costumes!!!!!! I'm so excited. This is gonna be so sweet.

Also.

We had our first band practice today... because I'm in a band. We wrote three songs already.

Today is an exciting day.

2002-09-15T17:16:00.000-07:00

modesto720: god... my mom is listening to the sounds of the rainforest
modesto720: and aboriginals
Nicki rockstar: hahahahaaaa
Nicki rockstar: aahhhhhhahaha
Nicki rockstar: that's great
modesto720: NO
modesto720: it's BAD
modesto720: BAD BAD BAD
modesto720: I hate the rainforest sounds
Nicki rockstar: that was like my favorite sleepy time meditation cd's... then it disapeared
Nicki rockstar: ::tear::
modesto720: *stomps on nicki's cd*
modesto720: *hides it*
modesto720: oops
modesto720: you weren't supposed to see that
Nicki rockstar: ::stomps on morgan's face::
Nicki rockstar: oops
modesto720: HAHAHHAHAHAH

2002-09-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

I was at Rami's house on Friday and I tore two pages out of his magazine that was devoted to sluts. Excpet they had a whole 5 pages devoted to Beck. The two pictures I tore out were of him.

2002-09-14T11:37:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, I was talking to my dad the other day... and that is when I realized that I have changed too much for him to handle over the past five years. Well, maybe not TOO much for him to handle, but anyway here's something I was talking to him about.

Me: talking about school, school pictures, driver's ed.. boring stuff like that.

...

Me: Oh yeah, I dyed my hair green.
Dad: SIGH
Me: What?!
Dad: Oh nothing.
Me: WHAT?!
Dad: NOTHING.
Me: HEY at least I'm not burning down houses and killing cats in cemetaries.
Dad: I guess.
Me: Fine, I won't tell you anything like that anymore. But don't expect me to look any different than I do right now when I come to visit you!
Dad: SIGH
Me: WHAT?!?!?!

hawhawhawhahwhawhawhhahahahahahhahaha

I think I laughed for 10 minutes after I hung up.

2002-09-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

JACKASS MOVIE OCTOBER 22ND!

2002-09-11T15:17:00.000-07:00

So it's the anniversary of 9/11.

We had an assembly for it today for it. There was a poem and a song and some candles and then silence. My english teacher said that at other schools they were reading off all the people's names that died. An hour and a half that would have taken.

Since it is 9/11, the art museums around here are FREE! So I'm going to go to the Seattle Art Museum tonight.

And then I will do my math homework.

2002-08-30T21:45:00.000-07:00

Bored.

10 bands you love-
Tool
Radiohead
Beck
Modest Mouse
Halo Benders
Built To Spill
Dub Narcotic Sound System
Beastie Boys
Beat Happening
Coldplay

9 things you are looking forward to-
Driving
Graduating
Getting a job
Going to college
Finishing my room
Bumbershoot
Seeing my sister
Slowly collecting all the CDs that I want
Having fun

8 things you wear daily-
Deoderant
Rings (2)
Necklace Nicki made me
Bracelet
Bra
Underwear
Outer clothing/shoes
Lip gloss

7 things that annoy you-
Talking during movies that I haven't seen yet
Constant negativity
Bad grammar
Smacking on food/gum
Alerts to the obvious
Large groups huddling in one area that I need to be
Clingers

6 things you touch daily-
Myself
Bed
Shoes/Clothes
Food
Remote
Doors

5 things you do every morning-
Pee
Sleep
Drool on my pillow
Check the clock and decide to go back to sleep
Grab stomach in hunger, then ignore it to utilize sleeping time

4 people you wish you'd spend more time with-
Nicki
SJ
Fenchurch
Seth

3 movies you could watch over and over-
So I Married an Axe Murderer
Clerks
The Imposters

2 of your favorite songs at the moment-
Cosmopolitan Bloodloss by Glassjaw
Wasted and Ready by Ben Kweller

1 person you could spend the rest of your life with-
SJ

Oh yeah, I'm back.

2002-08-19T11:11:00.000-07:00

Going to Europe tomorrow. In about 23 hours I'll be in a limo going to the airport. HURRAH!

Be back on the 28th. Bye all!

2002-08-15T18:27:00.000-07:00

I got my class schedule today.

First semester:

1- World Studies I *
2- Ceramics
3- English
4- Biology (NOT WITH MISTA WITT!! WOOT!)
5- Team Sports
6- Math 3

Second Semester:

1- World Studies II *
2- Art Intro
3- English
4- Biology
5- Drama
6- Math 3

Next year was going to be easy before the changes (* = change).

2002-08-13T16:34:00.000-07:00

Hello, nice to see you again.

Man, I think I'm going to die in front of the TV. Seriously. Ever since my mom re-ordered cable television, I haven't been able to pull my sorry ass off the couch. A couple days ago I woke up and found that we had no food in the house, so I sat and watched TV until my mom came home and bought me some food. Yup.

You know what's a great show? Jackass! I mean, they are just sitting there hurting themselves and it's hilarious. But I am very distressed about Steve-O going to jail. Evidentally, he stapled his scrotum to his inner thigh.... and is charged with battery BUT it was for stunts! And he is my favorite jackass!! Eight years in jail... I hope he gets less than that. On the plus side there is going to be a Jackass movie coming out. And you bet I'm going to see it.

So I said about two, three months ago that I was going to paint my room... and I did finally, but only half. But the side that I actually did looks great. And the other half is clutter and still pink. I'll get to it hopefully before I go to Europe, which is in six days.

If anyone wants a postcard, e-mail me.

2002-08-05T14:55:00.000-07:00

Which Empire Records Character Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty

YEAH!! LUCAS!!! YEAH!!!

2002-08-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

If you haven't gathered already, I like to go see Calvin Johnson in concert. I did that again last night.

The show was supposed to start at 8, but no people had showed up so we all sat around and waited for more people to show up. My sister and I talked to this cool guy named Gabe for a while as we waited. At 9 the show started and we saw the two opening bands. They were good, things were fun.

Then at 11:15 ish Dub Narcotic gets on the stage and everybody's rockin' and having a good time. But then, three songs into the set, this guy comes in from the back door (behind the stage) and unplugs the guitar. So Heather, the guitarist/drummer, plugs the guitar back in. The guy does it again, and by this time Calvin turns around and sees him. Every thing gets all quiet.

Man: IT'S 12 O'CLOCK ON A WEDNESDAY! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! THIS ISN'T A WEEKEND, YOU CAN'T JUST DO THIS!
Calvin: It's cool, baby.

And the concert ended. That sucked.

But then my sister and I went to Broadway Grill and had some food. It was cool.

2002-08-01T17:13:00.000-07:00

Make an Ass of Yourself.
quiz by Sol

The person that wrote this test must be a Dumbass. Nice try spelling whether.

2002-07-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

I saddled up my pony ride
And rode into the ghostly night
It was wide, wide open, wide, wide open.

I left the only home I knew
I stayed alive and I found you
Now I take you where the water’s deep
And make the air you breathe you so sweet

But is it not enough to be complete?
Please.
Let me give you everything you need.
Please.

We found the way
We found the street’s direction
Sweat under the sheets
And I let you have it, let you have it all
But it can be a lonely place
Desire comes desire fades
There’s a bright one caught your fancy eye
It’s okay so long as you stay mine

And I’m so number one that it’s a shame
That you let other numbers in the game

Now I suffer for your hungry eye
Oh why must it seem more than mine?
It’s a light-year after cause light moves faster
But when I ride again into the night
My torch will shoot flames strong and bright
And my absence will remind you of how tough it is to be in love

And it’s not what I think it’s what you say
And it works great for you to have your way

The west can be a desperate place
You search all day for just a taste
Of the cold, cold water, cold, cold water
And if you think I’m gone to (?)
The simple sky will sing its song
As it burns off all its (?)
That cold, bright water (?)

Mirah- Cold, Cold Water

I enjoy this song.

2002-07-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been feeling blown off. See, this past Wednesday I went to another Calvin Johnson concert and asked him to play here in Shoreline so that I could just walk instead of having to get a ride to a concert, so I gave him my e-mail address and he said he'd e-mail me. I haven't recieved one yet. But I mean, why should he make time for me? I'm just some strange girl that happens to really like his music. I'm sure he gets it all the time. I still feel blown off though. Who knows though, maybe he will still get around to it.

I've decided that I need to go CD shopping before I go to Europe. Everybody needs new CDs when they are going to be on long flights!
Here's what I'm going to get:

Mirah- You Think It's Like This, But It's Really Like This
Calvin Johnson- What Was Me
The Make-Up- I Want Some
The Microphones- It Was Hot, We Stayed In The Water
Mirah- Advisory Committee

Go birthday money.

2002-07-22T18:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday To Me.

2002-07-17T22:34:00.000-07:00

I've been doing a lot of things lately. Today I did nothing and it made my NECK HURT!

Put on your hard helmet folks, it's complaining time!

2002-07-17T16:43:00.000-07:00

So my two day stalking of Calvin Johnson is over. And I have to say, it paid off because... I MET HIM! ahhhhh

The first day of concerts I just sat there staring at him, trying not to throw up if he said anything to me. Which he did at the second show of day one. I was sitting in the way back and he was walking by me, and of course my head followed him as he was walking by. So he noticed me staring at him and he said hello to me.

Day two! The first concert was at a record store, and after the show I went up to buy one of his shirts and he says, "You were at all of the shows yesterday, huh?" and I say "Yes, and I will be at the one tonight too." So what does he do? He put me on the guest list! WOWIE!!!!

I sat in the very front for that last concert, and after words he came up to me and said, "Well, Morgan, you made it through the whole tour." and I say, "Yes, I am the ultimate groupie." and he says, "Either that or you are being forced to go through a lot of torture." HAH

When you are the proud owner of my favorite singing voice, it is not torture to see the whole tour. I tell you.

Now I have to meet Beck and I will have met my two idols! GOOD TIMES! YES!

2002-07-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com /
<º>

2002-07-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

I GET TO SEE CALVIN JOHNSON A WHOLE LOT IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS!

*squeels with joy*

CALVIN FUCKING JOHNSON! AHHH!!!

2002-07-14T18:56:00.000-07:00

I am 48% Tortured Artist

I have some artistic ability, but it is probably a hobby and doesn't drive my life into a dark abysmal hole were I am alone and against the world.

Take the Tortured Artist Test at fuali.com

2002-07-07T16:47:00.000-07:00

Sitting here staring at my Radiohead shirt makes me wonder what it would be like to be a corporation. Specifically, an unsuccessful one.

You start out with your papers and base money. You rent a building and hire employees, buy the nessecities of your bussiness. Suddenly you have one half the amount of money you started with. Advertising must be done, and shmoozing with the clientel. Expensive dinners, promotional door prizes and whatnot.

Driving, you see your billboards covering all main streets.

A couple of months later you're getting lawsuit papers for in-office sexual harrassment and the new, bigger, better corporation is moving in next door. It's taking away all your bussiness. The sexual harrassment victim get's their claim of the rest of the money in your account. You can't pay rent anymore.

Next scene, you're sitting on the sidewalk in a brown, tweed suit, clutching your suitcase, and waiting for the grim reaper to claim your measley soul.

Another job option that I just talked myself out of. I seem to be good at that.

2002-07-06T21:13:00.000-07:00

I feel like a chump right now.

I'm going through people withdrawls, but I don't really want to see people. Unless that person was Nicki, but she is GONE! Doh.

Like the bright person I am, I managed to cut my thumb while shaving my legs today. Strange, I don't even remember how I did it until there was blood all over the place. Then I jumped out of the shower and got water all over the bathroom floor trying to get to the toilet paper before blood got past my hand. And then I had to drip all the way dowstairs to get a band-aid before the toilet paper got soaked thru. I'm on my third bandage now. Whoop.

My mom bought this big box of juice bottles at Costco yesterday while I was getting my passport photo. It's the best juice I have ever tasted. And from Costco for chrissake! So all last night I sat there drinking bottle after bottle of juice, listening to my 90's music... And all today I sat around drinking my juice, listening to my 90's music.

The time is just flying by I tell you.
*stares at the clock*
It's been 9:19 for a long time.

2002-07-06T16:23:00.000-07:00

Ozzmirer 666: Caleb's birthday's tomorrow. . . I'm excited for some reason. :-\
modesto720: How old will he be?
Ozzmirer 666: 5.
modesto720: ah
Ozzmirer 666: the little bastard won't stop attacking me
modesto720: smack him
Ozzmirer 666: It doesn't work
modesto720: hah
modesto720: That sucks
Ozzmirer 666: I've tried just punching him ... right in the nose
Ozzmirer 666: doesn't work. :-\
modesto720: Maybe he's a robot
modesto720: Find his off switch
Ozzmirer 666: ..hmm... you think so??
modesto720: Well if you punched him in the face... and that didn't work
modesto720: he's a robot
Ozzmirer 666: lol
Ozzmirer 666: now he's just making stupid noises.
modesto720: malfunction
Ozzmirer 666: He seems to be working properly now. Trying to beat me up again.
modesto720: hah
modesto720: Grab him, hold him down, and look for his control panel
modesto720: It'll be fun
modesto720: Just do it
Ozzmirer 666: .....
modesto720: What?
Ozzmirer 666: No, he's making funny noises again.
modesto720: haha
Ozzmirer 666: and flopping around like a fish.
modesto720: hah cool
Ozzmirer 666: What? That he's flopping around like a fish??

2002-07-05T17:46:00.000-07:00

My radio station is playing good music! From the '90's! All weekend! I know all the words to every song! ahahahaha

2002-07-05T17:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I am back. Nicki left at around noon today, so yeah, here I am.

It's weird, it still doesn't feel like summer has started yet, even though it did... two weeks ago. I guess it's because I haven't been by myself long enough for the boredom to set in. It'll probably happen tomorrow, I'm guessing. We had a lot of fun while she was here though. There was a lot of taking the bus places and spending of money.

While sitting in the airport today waiting for Nicki's plane to take off, my mom decided that we need to take a vacation to Europe. And that woman means business, because as soon as we got home she took me to get my passport picture taken and whatnot. So I think I'm going to London, France, and maybe Ireland some time in August.

So much for getting a job this summer if I'm going to Europe. I don't think that after one month of working somewhere that I can get vacation time. But hey, you never know. I have about six applications to restaurants around/in the mall. I figure after I blow through the books that I want to read (The Two Towers, Atlas Shrugged, Hitch Hiker "Trilogy") that I will fill them out and turn them in. Doesn't it sound good to have money? Yeeees!

It feels weird to be alone again...

2002-07-03T14:40:00.000-07:00

According to the SelectSmart.com Belief System Selector, my #1 belief match is Secular Humanism.
What do you believe? Visit SelectSmart.com/RELIGION

2002-06-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, before I forget:

Nicki is coming tomorrow so I probably won't be posting while she is here. As a matter of fact, those of you who talk with me online, I will probably not come on AIM either. She's leaving July 5th. I shall definitely return then.

I leave you with this word of wisdom:

Always check the expiration date, no matter how horny/thirsty you are.

Until then, Adieu.

2002-06-19T20:55:00.000-07:00

I went to the dentist office today to get a couple of cavities filled, which, mind you, were not my fault! I can't help that I can't buy my own sealants. Anyway, I'm sitting there in the chair and the dude is drilling away and I'm crying because I'm a wuss like that and he says:

"You know, Morgan, you really need to trust me."

And I say, "It's kind of hard to trust someone who is holding a drill in my mouth."

Yeah, so then like two seconds later the drilling begins to hurt after he PROMISED me it wouldn't! Lying bastard. I had to get shot up with novocain. It wore off a couple hours ago now but it's still physically impossible for me to keep my lips straight.

I'm a circus freak!

2002-06-18T15:43:00.000-07:00

French project - check
World geo project- check
Science letter - check
Math final - check
English "final" - check

Two more finals to go and then I'm done! Friday = 40 oz to freedom.

2002-06-16T22:56:00.000-07:00

You are the ravest of dance parties, a must for the all night rave! Exciting company you make people feel sexy, sensuality and generally ecstatic. You make people feel close, at one with each other but can also make people feel nauseaous and anxious.If you spend alot of time with someone they tend to be hallucinating, they cant see clearly and feel like they are getting carried away with you. When you spend way too much time with people you fuck up their brain, heart and liver. However, after spending a wopping wonderful night with you, the next day people get deppressed thinking of you and how much they miss you. They get love sick and dont want to eat, they cant sleep, they feel sore in their muscels and cant concentrate for very long as they dream of when they will spend an exhilarating time with you again on the dance floor at the very next rave party. Fortunately for people, the more they see of you the more they realise how bad you are and eventually they dont see much of you anymore.

Find Out If You Were A Drug, What You Would Be!

quiz by ravenritings

Be warned! I am harmful! I should be shot! But I can't be shot because according to this I am made of chemicals! BOO!!

2002-06-16T17:39:00.000-07:00

Too much homework to write.. Finals week.

2002-06-11T22:33:00.000-07:00

The most eventful thing that has happened since the "cop incident". It's called the "yearbook incident".

The yearbook incident starts yesterday, when yearbooks were passed out. I didn't get one because I'm a slacker and forgot to buy one. Anyway, everybody was signing and whatnot and one of my friends writes something like "I need a sexxxy bitch. AAAA AAAA!! I wanna stick my crotch in your face. Check yes or no." on the cover of my other friend's yearbook.

So she takes it home and her parents take it so that they can look at it and they notice this note to their precious daughter on the cover. According to her, and her boyfriend who was on the phone with her at the time, her parents had a fit. She was lectured on sexual harrassment and was made to read a chapter in a book about it. During which, the administration was notified and they took the yearbook to the school. A picture was taken and the writing was removed.

This morning my friend, the author of the note, was called out of class and was assigned garbage duty. Evidentally if another person comes forward, he will be expelled.

Now that is just stupid. It's just censorship, although it wasn't wise to write that on the COVER of the yearbook. See, if I were gong to be expelled, I'd want it to be for something interesting like blowing up the math building because it is the devil. Or maybe for graffiting on the tennis courts.. but if I were to do that, I would make it something pretty that they wouldn't feel like washing off... So scratch that one.

But then there's Kate's idea of streaking down the courtyard and into the 100's building. And although it wouldn't leave any permenant damage like blowing it up would, it would still leave some permenant mental damage. In conclusion, I will leave expulsion ideas to her.

2002-06-10T20:11:00.000-07:00

17 HOMERUNS!

I think I must be on steriods or something.

2002-06-07T20:48:00.000-07:00

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

Buh?

2002-06-07T20:33:00.000-07:00

This is the first time a cyber (sex) bot has ever IMed me!

puzyfoot22: hi.... :-)
modesto720: hello
puzyfoot22: asl?
modesto720: 14/f/wa
Previous message was not received by puzyfoot22 because of error: Error code 3 received from server.

modesto720: sorry do I know you?
puzyfoot22: 23/f/ny
modesto720: maybe not then
puzyfoot22: so waht are you up to modesto720?
modesto720: not a whole lot
modesto720: what about you?
puzyfoot22: great! can you jst get it started..
puzyfoot22: you wana cyber me! im kinda in the mood if you know what i mean :-)
modesto720: I hate you
puzyfoot22: so tell me how you would do me! from behind?
modesto720: maybe if I had a penis
puzyfoot22: yeah, give it to me from behind sweets
modesto720: I just said I couldn't
puzyfoot22: keep going.. im getting.. you know.. excited
modesto720: freak
puzyfoot22: :-)
modesto720: what are you smiling at?
puzyfoot22: brb... getting my toy
modesto720: is it a tonka truck?!
puzyfoot22: im back. still there?
modesto720: well I wasn't waiting for you
puzyfoot22: so do you have a big one...?
modesto720: I don't have one
puzyfoot22: good...why dont you drop your pants?
modesto720: what if I said I was wearing spandex? would you still want me?
puzyfoot22: just lounging around in my undies.... u?
modesto720: I didn't ask you what you were doing
modesto720: freak
puzyfoot22: :-)
puzyfoot22: ... are you stroking it?
modesto720: my cat? yes
puzyfoot22: so modesto720 what would you like me to do?
modesto720: fuck off you ho bag
Previous message was not received by puzyfoot22 because of error: Error code 3 received from server.

modesto720: go fuck yourself
Previous message was not received by puzyfoot22 because of error: Error code 3 received from server.

modesto720: WHY CAN'T I CUSS AT YOU?!
puzyfoot22: go on...
modesto720: I tried.. I couldn't
puzyfoot22: ohh yeah!!! my panties are all wet. i think ill take them off...
modesto720: did you spill your drink?
puzyfoot22: modesto720!!!! put you hard rod in me!!
modesto720: I'm not a hard rod thanks
puzyfoot22: mmmmm... hard.
modesto720: hard like your head
puzyfoot22: dont stop modesto720!! keep going .. Im getting off!!!
puzyfoot22: modesto720 send me an email... with a pic maybe... :-)
modesto720: getting off? bye then
puzyfoot22: ok, i can take a hint.. but you should check out the pictures i have of me on my site.. you might change ur mind.. check it out http://www.holeinmypants.com/elisabeth/
modesto720: hole in my pants? more like HO in my pants!!
modesto720: I wouldn't check out your pictures if you paid me
modesto720: because I hate you.

2002-06-06T18:17:00.000-07:00

Two Weeks Prior Was a Bad Idea

Two weeks prior, John had decidedly bought a fish to go with them on the shuttle. Frank knew the fish would never even make it to Dallas, and definitely wouldn’t survive lift-off. But whatever made John happy was okay with him—although it was an interesting idea to orbit the earth with a gold fish.
The lady at the pet store had approached them with great enthusiasm. By the looks of her attitude, and the newly laminated nametag with the “I’m happy to help you” sticker still attached, it was apparent she was new to the job.
“How may I help you!?” She bounced slightly upon arrival in the aquatics aisle.
“Yeah, gimme one of them 99 cent fish,” John stated casually.
“Do you have a favorite you’d like me to grab for you,” she asked pleasantly.
“Dang woman! A fish is a fish! Just get me a dang fish!”
“No need to yell, Sir,” she said with a surprisingly natural smile on her face.
She dipped her fish net into the large tank and pulled out a black and gold fish.
“Hurry woman! Don’t kill Sparky before I even pay for him,” John shouted.
“Sparky, John? Can’t you think of a better name than one of a dog?” Frank asked, appalled.
“I’ll name my fish whatever I God dang feel like!”
The customer service representative had already sealed up the fish by the time John and Frank were done bickering.
“Would you be interested in a tank or…?” She wasn’t even done talking when John shoved his dollar at her and began to walk toward the exit.
“Some people can’t shut their traps for one second, I’ll tell you what,” John pointed out, slightly annoyed.

Presently, the two men said their good-byes to their wives and got in the NASA company Buick. It didn’t meet John’s standards because of the lack of a mini bar. Today was the day they would drive to Dallas and become another pair of historically acclaimed men for orbiting Earth. They drove down the long stretch of highway silent and gazing at the mundane brown that surrounded them in the hot metal box. The car came fully stocked with air conditioning and CD player and whatnot, but the men didn’t seem to take any notice to the small luxuries.
“Did you remember to bring Fluffy?” Frank asked.
“Yes, and his name is Sparky!”
“Well, where is he then?”
“In my suitcase.”
“You moron! Do you think he’ll live without oxygen?”
“They don’t need oxygen. They’re am… am… ampivians!”
“Oh yes, that’s right. I forgot,” Frank said sarcastically.
When they got to the NASA base, John removed his suitcase from the trunk and placed it on the pavement.
“Why don’t you check on Sparky,” Frank suggested.
John opened the main compartment on the suitcase and took out a small Tupperware container with holes punched in the lid. As he put his hand to it, he noticed a slimy texture covering the whole top of the lid.
“Oh Jesus! My prescription shampoo got all over my suitcase and Sparky’s bowl!”
“You have prescription shampoo?” Frank mocked.
“Oh shut up, Mr. Viagra!”
They exchanged glares and walked in awkward silence toward the looming, white building. John fumbled with Sparky’s bowl and his suitcase trying to open the door. Frank stepped around John and opened the door for him.
“I coulda done it myself.”
“I’m sure you could have.”
The two men entered the doorway into the sterile hall. The security guard checked their badges and escorted them into the dressing room.
“T-minus two hours, boys,” he said, chuckling.
John and Frank changed into their insulated suits and gathered the items they would take on board with them. Two hours later, they were all buckled into their seats, ready to take off. Sparky was transferred into a plastic cup and placed in a cup holder.
“Sparky looks kind of slimy. I think the shampoo got on him,” John observed.
“I’m sure he’ll be okay. He doesn’t have any hair, right?” Frank joked.
“Take-off in 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1,” Mission Control announced. The engines rumbled their low, blasting noise as the gas lit a spark and exploded. They were off. The immense pressure built up as they were flung into Earth’s outer atmosphere. It felt like only seconds, but it was actually minutes. Perhaps an hour had gone by. After you leave the stratosphere, your concept of time seems to dwindle. Even so, after how ever long it took to get to the exosphere, they made it and situated themselves to more comfortable positions, all the while looking around them at the stars and Earth, and fiddling with their stabilizing instruments.
“I wonder if Sparky is still alive,” John pondered. He removed the cup from the holder and peered inside. Sparky was swimming about as usual.
“Well I’ll be! He’s still floatin’ around like he always does!”
“Amazing. Truly amazing,” Frank added.
“It’s weird though; does it look like he’s bigger than usual?”
“Yeah, he looks a little cramped.”
Within the next three minutes, Sparky had grown so much that he began to break the cup. Within the next five minutes, Sparky had fallen out of the cup onto the ground and was flipping himself around like, well, a fish out of water. Except at this point he was a very abnormally large fish out of water. He was beginning to resemble the Incredible Hulk in appearance, but for the fact that he remained black and gold instead of the lime green with a torn white shirt.
John and Frank backed up to the wall in shear horror. The sight of Sparky beginning to grow legs and arms was just too much. And where would they have to go? They were trapped in a small shuttle with just one exit, which led only out into the vast reaches of space.
“OH DEAR LORD! WHAT IS GOING ON?” John shouted.
“I have never seen a fish do that before,” Frank said, mildly.
No sooner had Sparky mutated into a horrendous monster, that he began to creep toward them.
“BAAAAAAAAAAH,” Sparky grunted.
“Excuse me,” Frank replied.
They were trapped in between massive amounts of shiny, silver equipment. Frank attempted to hop over the control panel but didn’t make it in time as Sparky pounded up behind him and John, tearing them off of whatever they had been trying to climb up. Without hesitation, or even a final cigarette, Sparky took their heads and bashed them together, making them drop to the floor like a garbage bag full of rotting apples.
“RAAAAAAAH,” proclaimed Sparky in victory.
He clamored about the ship, destroying equipment and smashing navigational properties. He picked up the debris of a broken chair and collided it into the viewing window. Air rushed out of the ship, creating a powerful vacuum. Sparky was sucked toward the hole and hit the wall with a great force. A light on the control panel blinked red. A sure warning sign that something was terribly wrong with the ship. All at once, the ship began to spin out of control, making a downward spiral toward Earth.
______________________________________________________________________

A man and his family were at their ancestor’s castle in Scotland, spending the weekend on the lake. The fog was closing in over the water and the air was cool and salty. His kids were playing tag on the sand bar that stretched for miles.
“You’re it, daddy,” His youngest daughter squealed. He chased after her.
Before they had time to grasp what was going on the man and his children fell to their knees as the earth shook and they were drenched with a massive tidal wave rising from the lake. They looked back and saw a U.S. space shuttle sinking into the water.
“What in the bloody hell was that?!” The man exclaimed.
They stood there for a while, staring at the water, stunned. After a few minutes, they saw a giant creature pop its head and torso out of the water. Its giant teeth gleamed and its gold and black scales shone brightly in the light of the sun breaking through the clouds. It roared a terrible roar and gnashed its terrible teeth.
“Good Lord! It’s a monster!” The man gathered his children, ran toward his car, and drove away from Loch ness.

2002-06-04T18:51:00.000-07:00

akudsfhlngakfnblfnberhbebnalef

I'm so tired. Yesterday I went over to this girl who was my partner for the science project's house at 3 pm. We worked and worked and worked on our science project (which was an electric car) until 7pm when we both realized that this fucker wasn't going to be finished unless we stayed up ALLL night working on it. So I called my mom and she dropped off my backpack at her house and I spent the night. We worked on it until about 3 am to no avail. We were woken at 6.45 am then had to go to school! Four goddamn hours of sleep and the car didn't even go.

So now I am pooped. The good news is my mom is letting me stay home tomorrow so that I can catch up on my sleep and so that I can do my english project in time. I could have finished in time if I wasn't so damn tired right now that my brain can't function correctly. I love rest days!

Today in English my teacher came up to me and said "You didn't do your last vocab list." And I said "Indeed I didn't." And we had a good laugh. It was super.

This coming Monday is campus day! I need to buy me a yearbook that way I don't have to have people signing my skin instead... Because they WILL too.

13 days left of school! 16 days till Nicki comes!

2002-06-01T21:03:00.000-07:00

because i thought this picture was pretty, laura of mewing.net told me this: "you are a sadistic, bunny-lovin', froot-loop-eatin' warrant fan. you are either a truck driver or will be a truck driver within the next ten years. your favorite holiday is christmas, because you like to eat the tree. you may or may not have a moustache. you may or may not have your nipple pierced."
whatever will laura tell you??

Oh my Jesus! This thing got me dead on!

2002-06-01T12:46:00.000-07:00

take the death quiz.

and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

At least I won't be eaten by an ostrich.

2002-05-30T20:49:00.000-07:00

And with only a few days left of school all of my teachers think they are gods. All three of my classes today, my teachers said, in one way or another, that their class should be top priority for the rest of the year. They just don't get it do they? We aren't going to change our work ethic all of a sudden just because it's the end of the year.

In Science class on Tuesday, the pupils got in a heated discussion with Mista Witt on why our school doesn't know how to let kids learn. One thing I have learned is that he is a pansy and can dish it out, but can't take the heat. So we're like "Man, this homework is crap. We don't learn because you make it so that it's not fun. That's why we are so miserable and in bad moods when we come to this class." And then he's all like "Well maybe if you wanted to learn BLAH BLAH BLAH!" So today he rings his little bell and says "GOOD MORNING" as usual and everyone sits there in silence, staring at him.

Mista Witt: Well I know we had some tension in the class yesterday...
Me: It's still there.
Mista Witt: Well you know, it hurt my feelings when you said you were miserable and weren't learning anything...
Classmate: We are trying to be open! And tell the truth! (sarcasm)
Mista Witt: Well that is good but...*sigh* I'm willing to forgive you and I am happy to see you.

We all exchanged weird looks and commenced with our 100 minute hell.

Also, this morning I was so confused I almost had a nervous breakdown. I was sitting on the bus and thinking "OMI GAWD! I TOOK MY FRENCH BOOK OUT OF MY BACKPACK THIS MORNING!!!" but then I remembered I didn't have French today. And then I didn't know if I had my math book or not. And then I was confused about where I should be going for first period and I was wondering why others weren't going to the classes I thought they were going to and... and... BAAAH!!!

It's almost over I tell you!! One more day of May and then 15 more of June and we will be done! It seems so far away...

But my friend is coming here from Arizona the day before school gets out (I get out early to pick her up from the airport) and is staying thru July 5th. Good times.

And I have nothing more to say because I'm all cloudy. Oh lordy someone help me.

2002-05-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

Alright, here's how it went down:

So at about 10 PM on Sunday night I and four other of my friends went to the local elementary school to hang out on the roof. So we're up there talking and at about 10.45 we go to get down because my friend and I had to be home at 11. So we stomp over to the landing quite loudly and just before it happened I gave a big "SHH!". The two guys got down and one of the girls and the other girl was about to get down when a flashlight shines in our eyes and a man yells, "YOU ON THE GROUND! DO NOT RUN OR YOU WILL BE SHOT! GET YOUR HANDS UP WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM!"

I was just like, "Oh great."

So they made the other two of us get down and turn around with our hands on our heads like fucking criminals. We had to wait on the ground for a while so that other cops could come. You know, just incase we try to knock out the two grown men and make a mad dash for it.

Cop: THIS PIECE OF SHIT RADIO! Where the fuck are the others?!
Me: Jesus Christ.

So the other four cops get there and the ringleader comes up to the front to begin his reign of terror upon our underaged souls.

Cop: So, I hear you have beer.
Us: What the..? Who said anything about beer?
Cop: Ah hm. Have you seen me before?
Us, pondering: Um.. No, I don't think so. (Although later we determined that he looked familiar because he looked like the fat cop from Super Troopers.)
Cop: Well that's good! Now WHAT WERE YOU DOING UP ON THE ROOF!?
Us: We were just talking.
Cop: ON THE ROOF!?!?! DO YOU SEE ALL THIS FLAT LAND AROUND HERE?!?!?!?!??!
Us: It's a nice place to go....

Then he rambled on about us breaking our necks up there, but more importantly, what if we had hurt the roof in any way?

Cop: YOU ARE SO STUPID! GOING UP THERE IS SO STUPID! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW STUPID YOU ARE! GAAAWWWD!!

Then he picked out one of the guys to answer a few questions.

Cop: Would you go up on your neighbor's roof?
Friend: No.
Me: No.
Cop: And why not?
Friend: Because it's their house.
Me: Because they're INSIDE!
Cop: BECAUSE IT'S TRESSPASSING!!!!!!!

Anyway, it went on like that for a while until they decided to search us.

Cop: If you have any knives, pipes, or anything like that on you, give it up now!
Us: We don't have anything.
Cop: But if you have anything, give it up!
Us: We don't HAVE ANYTHING!

So they searched the guys and smelled their breath, checked their eyes and whatnot. Then they took down our names, phone numbers, birthdays, addresses.

Cop: Okay, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna let you off with a warning, but you're going in our computer! If you're already in there or if we catch you again, we're going to press charges and you will get a court order in the mail. I recommend telling your parents what happened because we WILL be calling your parents to verify your phone numbers.

That last part was a lie. They won't call our parents, they are just trying to get us to tell our parents. I told mine and she didn't care, like I knew she wouldn't.

All I have to say is Shoreline cops have nothing better to do and can royally fuck themselves up the ass!

2002-05-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

STARTING YESTERDAY I HAVE A CRIMINAL RECORD!

Well, sort of. It's more like I'm in the computer.

Story to be told later. Right now I'm exhausted.

2002-05-26T18:05:00.000-07:00

YES! My page is back! Life is good when my page works.

I've come to another conclusion and that is that not all people suck because I got my wallet back.

That is all for now.

2002-05-26T18:03:00.000-07:00

This better work.

2002-05-20T17:06:00.000-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that PEOPLE SUCK! I have a reason for this conclusion, too. So don't think that I'm just a people-hating freak. On Sunday I went to the University Street Festival and I was there for about ten minutes at the most when I feel my back pocket and notice that my wallet was GONE. GONE I TELL YOU GONE!!!! Someone had either pickpocketed me or I left it on the bus but I am almost sure that I had it when I got off the bus. Either way, every card that I ever owned was in that wallet. GONE! And once more GONE!

Good things happened too.. and that's not the end of the world because how often do I use my library card anyway? ANYWHO! I dyed my hair "pretty flamingo" pink and it looks glorious, if I do say so myself.

I finished my last major project of the year in World Geo also. It was a Thailand video in which 1/4 of the group fucked me over again. Stupid kids... one day when I become President I will take kids like that and put them somewhere so that people like me don't KILL THEM. When I become President I will sit down with those terrorist knuckleheads and tell them exactly why it doesn't matter! And they will be like, "Hey. That's a cool lady. It really doesn't matter. Let's just crack open a bottle of Jose Cuervo and play cribbage."

That'll teach them.

Also I've come to the conclusion that whoever invented wind should be shot because I can't breathe when the wind blows.

2002-05-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

From the moment I enter the front door of my house, my brain changes into a disgusting, yet quite lovely glop. It almost resembles instant pudding of the tapioca variety. And because of this, I find myself going into the kitchen and analyzing every food product that we own.

I want to know, first of all, why there are so many cans of beans. They fuckin multiplied over night. One day they will scoot themselves out of the pantry and slit our throats with their razor sharp edges. Time for a tetanus shot, oh yes.

Also I decided that I don't quite care for the red apples. They are mushy and get brown on the inside too fast. They should go to hell. STRAIGHT TO HELL.

I noticed white in an aquafina water bottle. It looked like the reminence from a mini-liposuction. But then I realized that it was just milk. Why would you put milk in a water bottle? It just looks wrong.

And I leave you with my word of wisdom for the day: Spaghettios give me heartburn... but then so does everything else.

2002-05-11T16:21:00.000-07:00

I didn't make the step team. Know why? Because they want to "stick to tradition" whatever the fuck that means. I've come to the conclusion that I didn't make it because I have blonde hair. I was so much better than a few of the beatless girls that made it. I'm not just floating my own boat either. The good people on the team were mad that I didn't make it too. I'm beyond caring though. Yesterday I cared a lot, but that might have been because of the constant reminders everywhere, shoving it in my face. I just figure it's their loss now.

I got my mind off it pretty fast yesterday. I called my sister when I got home to whine at her, and then she invited me to a Mariner's game. I'm glad she is so good to me, otherwise I'd be sitting around moping all night. And we won! Good times...

That's it.

2002-05-06T20:35:00.000-07:00

I've realized that I am no longer "hip" with the new music out today. Back in the days of leisurely cable viewing, before my mother decided it was a good idea to buy another house, leaving us with little money to spare, I used to watch nothing but MTV2 and I knew every new song in every genre of music, sometimes before a lot of other people. Now that I'm forced to either listen to the radio, God forbid, or read about new music, I've lost touch. I'm not the same pop culture know-it-all that I used to be.

Maybe it's a good thing, but my hours aren't filled with the same fulfilling fluff that they used to. That's where the extracuricular activity falls in. I'm turning into something that I despised. This could have been prevented if I would have saved some of that money that I spent on candy and shit like gel pens, so that I could still afford CDs. I never even use those goddamn gel pens anymore.

Today was a real slap in the face that I have lost my beloved hobby. I overheard a conversation about Eminem's new single, and the first thing that came to my mind was, that guy is still alive? Eminem is not the most important thing in my life, oh no. It was just the realization that I didn't know that before those preppy girls that are probably planning on buying his new CD.

When I got off the metro today at 5 o'clock, I walked in the rain toward my house planning on finding some new music online. And what do you think I downloaded? Two 1960's songs that I heard on an infomercial for "the rockin' 60's collection" that was being advertised by ex-Monkee, Davy Jones, and two Pixies songs. It just wasn't going to happen.

But the good news is, when I was washing the dishes (out of my own free will, of course), I heard the Eminem song. And not just once either, because lucky me, Cube 93 likes to play the bad music repeatedly. It wasn't that bad, but it was the same old "I hate the boy bands and Limp Bizkit" shit that he always raps about. All he did was add in "this place is empty without me" because he has been off the radio for so long.

Verdict: Thanks to Eminem's new single, I care less about being oblivious.

2002-05-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

Man.. yesterday was a great day.

Firstly because we finished our dance for step. Secondly because my friend that went into the Army wrote me a letter. And last, I went to a super fun concert last night.

There were 3 bands, EWI, Bad Apple, and Brodie at an arcade in scenic Issaquah. The stage was pretty small and only about 60 people, at the most, showed up. When entering the room, I got a Brodie tee-shirt. Yes, so the first band played and they weren't very good, so most of the time was spent wishing we could kick the groupies in their butts because they were being stupid groupies.

Second band came on and they were better. About half way through this I notice a hot guy staring at me from behind. I glance back every now and again until he switches sides of me and stares at me from there. When the second band was over I showed him to Jessie and we made a point to follow him around. Also EWI was giving away their stickers because they couldn't sell them.

Finally Brodie came on and there was lots of moshing to be done. One girl who was wearing hoop earrings got knocked down and her earring was taken away from her ear and she most likely broke her ankle. At one point I was standing next to hot guy, but then I went up on stage and jumped around. I was promply told to get off the stage by a stage manager. The place had a bubble machine too! I was eating them every so often.

After the concert the hot guy came up and talked to me. It was nothing juicey and I didn't even find out his name but it's the fact that I talked to him that counts. Then Jessie and I went up and got a hug from the lead singer of Brodie.

Good fun for all. Now I'm going to take another nap and try to get rid of this cold that I woke up with.

2002-04-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

I like how the "honors dropout" thought I was the one that attacked their misspelling of "misspelt". I could tell by the "what now freshman". Thanks for that. I appreciate it.

Anyway, I've been working pretty hard all week on my step practice. My group and I made up our own step which is to the beat of QUEEN! (we will rock you) Awww yeah! And then we have about 40 seconds of our dance made up. May 8th is the day that try outs are, so we have to make two minutes of a dance up by then.

We have about a month and a half left of school, but apparently that's just insentive for the teachers to go hog wild with the projects. I have to write two shorts stories while reading 300 pages worth of short stories at the same time for English and then I have another group project for World Geo. We have to make a video for Thailand. I'm more interested in the food.. I think I'll just do "research" in a Thai restaurant instead.

Bah last Saturday was sucky. My mom had a barbecue with a bunch of work friends (one of them being her boyfriend) while my friend Lena, my sister (who left early.. I don't blame her), and I were pretty much stuck babysitting Mom's boyfriend's daughter. While the adults go entertain themselves we had to entertain the beast. She was.. loud. She would get up in my face and SCREAM REALLY LOUD UNTIL YOU WANTED TO PUSH HER ON THE FLOOR but I didn't because that's cruel... and she's not mine to push. SJ left, then Lena and I escaped to QFC where we smelled every dish soap. I know what kinds to buy. The pink, the dark blue, and the blue of the dawn brand are the best. The citrus smells like man. I don't like it.

From Monday to Thursday I had to take a stoopid standardized test. It was called the ITED.. and the "I" stands for Iowa which is far from Washington.

Day one stupid question: "How large is a man's wrist?" a) 20 cm b) 20 mm c) 12 cm or d) I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS!

Day two stupid question: "Why does a turkey that is the offspring of a wild turkey and a domesticated turkey fly lower and a lesser distance than the wild turkey?" a) he's a carnivor b) the domesticated turkeys don't fly good neither c) they were born without wings or d) WHO THE HELL CARES?!

Day three stupid question: "What does candid mean?" a) camera b) frank c) sweet d) this test is too easy and not worth your time

The last day there were about 180 statements about careers and if you found them interesting you filled in bubble "L" and if you didn't you filled in the bubble "D". Basically the only careers there were statements about was lawyer, doctor, accountant, tree planter. They didn't even mention astronomy! BAH! Stupid test. It will probably tell me to be a truck driver or a porn star because I answered "D" to almost all of them.

Also I got my progress report today and I got a C in math.. ahem..

2002-04-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

I went to the first step practice today. My hands are as red as the face of a cracked-out cow. They hurt like one too. It was pretty fun though. I was hesitant to do it at first because at the informational meeting the coach was kind of mean. I went anyway and I'm glad I did because it was really fun.

The team is called Berry Molasses and it's "showing African American history thru dance".

There were 20 or 30 people there, one guy and three white girls. I was one of the three, obviously. We were split up into three groups and each had a different coach that's on this year's team. Anyway, they taught us a step and I was the first one to get it down. For two hours I was practicing with people that needed help until I could handle the pain no longer. But then it was time to go. I am SO getting into step! It'll be great because there are field trips and I get to stomp/clap infront of the whole school.

Also today I had to present my World Geo project about the Japanese Tea Ceremony. I was not fully prepared, you could say. Everyone else had note cards and their wonderfully beautiful posters. All I had was my previous knowledge and a stick to hit things with. So I got up there and made it ghetto and was hitting things with the stick. I didn't get around to explaining how it related to geography. I said "The tea is GROWN in Japan" and then they clapped and the teacher made me sit down. Oh well, they seemed to enjoy it.

Hello. My name is Nudie Doodle Dandy.

2002-04-14T22:23:00.000-07:00

Spring break ends in a couple hours, which is the time I will be asleep. I cannot believe that I have been busy all week that I haven't had a chance to update. But that's okay because I had fun. It's funny how on the last day of breaks I never go out and do something. Instead I laze about the house and end up with a headache from over eating.

The old owner of our house stopped by today informing us that he would be back tomorrow to dig up his rhubarb plant, and he and my mom got to talking about how we like the house and whatnot. He made the comment "do you like Laura's graffiti?". What graffiti? I've seen no graffiti! So I went into the spare room, which I don't go into because there's nothing there, and opened the closet to have a look. On the ceiling in black spraypaint was the word "rebell". I laughed and laughed because this girl that thought she was a rebel couldn't even spell the damn word right! Also, in pink pen, written about six times, was "I love David". When we walked thru the house the first time there were posters up on the wall saying "JESUS LOVES YOU" yadda yadda..

The young "rebel" was broken by the church.

I'm going to paint my room pretty soon. I bought some paint called "candlelight" which is a nice light greenish-yellow color. Much better than the pink that my room is now. So when I'm bored I get to start removing my posters, moving my furniture away from the walls, and taping. It'll be great.

ALSO! My best friend in the whole world is coming for three weeks in July. That's three months left of school and the one more until she comes. I can hardly wait...

2002-04-05T18:34:00.000-08:00

Hooray for spring break. I'm free. As a bird. Or a person that just got out of jail.

My week was not all that exciting. I didn't even get tricked on Monday but that's okay because I don't really want that anyway.

On Tuesday I went to a play at the Seattle Rep and that was cool. It was called Don Juan. It was about this lying, womanizing, athiest. By this description, you wouldn't think you'd like him, but believe me it was hilarious. I also got out of science for that. If I could explain it in one sentence, it would be like this: This guy named Don Juan gets married a whole bunch, pisses some people off, is threatened by death and/or enternal damnation for being sacreligious 'n' stuff, then gets haunted by a ghost/statue of a man he killed/death and gets burn in hell. Yeah, it was pretty cool.

Wednesday I had to go to an assembly. It was frightening. It was a PEP RALLY! I don't think we need a pep rally if there is nothing to peppily rally about. I'm sure the sports teams don't need MY support or they would have asked my personally. The cheerleaders, flag team, and drill team preformed. The drill team is a big cult of freaks this year. Their smiles.. just... they are very fake. You'd think that they could do a better job of smiling. I guess it shouldn't matter, but if they are here to entertain me, then I'm sorely disappointed. Maybe next year's team will be better....

Speaking of next year teams, I was thinking about trying out for step. It's cool because it's just stomping on the floor and clapping your hands in cool patterns. At first it started out a joke because I was saying how I should try out to be the only white girl on the team, but then I learned that I could join the team. I think I'll try out because I enjoy stomping and I enjoy stomping in public.

Today was a very good day because I have very miniscule amounts of homework over this break. Also, it was the first day in a while that I've had a fairly large amout of social interaction outside of school. It was nothing big but we did see a car start all by itself. We stood staring at it for a while until finally someone came out of the house. We ran and screamed like little girls and Jeehah's pants fell down. (Get your belt back!!)

The next 10 days hold a lot in store. Unless it doesn't. But I get to see my sister, so suck on that fool.

2002-03-31T19:51:00.000-08:00

He just called again.

Person: BUZZ ME IN!!!!!!
Me: I can't buzz you in, but I can come out and get you. Wait there.
Person: Aight, coo. *click*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

2002-03-31T19:41:00.000-08:00

So I keep getting phone calls for Courtney. I don't know who Courtney is, but if I ever meet Courtney, I will tell Courtney to give her friends her real phone number.

Phone call number one:
Person: Hi Courtney!
Me: Courtney?
P: Courtney?
Me: Who's Courtney?
P: Is this *says my number*?
Me: Yeah, but we got it switched when we moved.
P: oooohhhhh! Okay, bye.

Call number two:
Person: Yo, Courtney.
Me: Wrong number *click*

Then he calls back..

Person: YO! COURTNEY!
Me: No, not Courtney.
Person: Can you just do me a favor and buzz me in?!
Me: I can't do that.
P: NO! JUST BUZZ ME IN!!!
Me: I CAN'T DO THAT! I DON'T LIVE THERE!!!!!
P: ahhh COMMON!!! BUZZ ME IN!!
Me: GODDAMNIT!!!!! RAAAAAAH!!!! *click*

I have had more calls than that. Those were just the interesting ones.

If you call me and ask for Courtney, I will fucking shoot you in the face.

2002-03-31T14:38:00.000-08:00

I think this is the first weekend EVER where I got up semi-early (mostly because my dad called and woke me up and also because my mom was drilling things into the wall) and did homework. I know! Homework! Normally I'd save it for about 10 o'clock tonight, but there is just too much.

I have to read 100 lines of Asian poetry, being 10 lines for each poem max, and then "reflect" on each of the poems. So I spread the poems out, one on each page. That's 16 pages containing one poem and two paragraphs of "reflection" on each. I've got nine pages done so far. I started at 11 this morning.

Here's an example of my crappy-ass reflecting skills.

Ono no Komachi

Color of the flower
Has already faded away,
While in idle thoughts
My life passes vainly by,
As I watch the long rains fall.

The writer of this poem sounds bored or restrained. Life is like the flower. It gets older and the color fades, the pedals fall off, and it just doesn’t have the same beauty it once did. The poet can’t do anything but think idle thoughts because they are withheld from doing the things they want to do. The rain is holding them back from showing off their pedals before their color fades.

This poem makes me wonder if I am doing all that I can to make life great. It scares me to think that I could be wasting my time doing something that I won’t benefit from. So many people could be wasting their time and not even know it. That’s why it would be good to really think about what your goal in life is. Make the best of the only life you have.

I actually like this poem, but I basically put in the reflection what I thought about relecting. heheheh

That shiot is due Tuesday. NOW! Due after spring break (yes, that means I have a project that I have to do DURING spring break) is a project for my World Geo class having to do with the Japanese Tea Ceremony. It was kind of funny because my teacher asked us all what we wanted to do our project on and that wasn't even on my list.

Teacher: So Morgan, what kind of technology are you thinking about for this project?
Me: I don't know. Sony, Nintendo.. Something like that.
Teacher: hmm.. Why don't you do the Tea Ceremony instead?

I think it's better this way because teachers always pick something for you that has a lot of ready information and easy thesis statements. And hell, I'll get to drink tea while I blab on about Japanese culture. It'll be great.

I'm going for the first A on a World Geo project this year. I think I can do it this time.. but that's what I said on the last project. (ahem.. C+)

2002-03-28T17:32:00.000-08:00

The extent of my adventures recently has been a trip to Best Buy. My time has been filled up otherwise by school and sitting on my tush. Yesterday my mom came into the computer room and shouted excitedly "GUESS WHAT!! I GOT A TAX REFUND!! LET'S GO SHOPPING!" No argument there.

So we were going to go clothes shopping, but we ended up going to Besy Buy instead. Mom had a stereo for the living room in mind instead.

"Go pick yourself out some CDs"

As I was making my way over to the CDs, I cut through the movie aisle. This lady was looking at workout videos and I stopped to look at a movie next to her. Apparently she didn't see me standing there because when she stopped looking at her beloved Buns-o-Steel, she took her cart and plowed it right into my ass.

She then took out her wallet and gave me 50 dollars for my troubles and the keys to her brand new sports car. She introduced herself as "Mrs. Gates" and said that she could get me a job if I needed one. What a nice lady.

Actually, what happened was she gave me a look of disgust and, hassled, carted around me toward the Disney movies. I was too stunned to do anything but stand there for a minute. I guess I look like a troublemaker and asked to get hit. I figured it wasn't worth it to go take her purse so I took myself over to the CD section.

I got: 2 Tool CDs and The White Stripes. Yes

This morning I was nearly hit by a car. This punk ass was swerving and almost hit the stop sign I was standing near... which was on the opposite side of the road from the lane he should have been driving in. But then he turned down a side street, swerved again and swiped a truck parked near a driveway.

I drew a picture. Want to see it? Check the sidebar.

2002-03-21T18:18:00.000-08:00

Blue and orange velcro shoes. They are my new God.

2002-03-20T20:44:00.000-08:00

There is this guy that works at my school that I do not like. I have no clue what the hell he does, but that's not the point. He hits on my math teacher- that's displeasing. On top of my dislike for this man, I was in a smartass kind of mood. He comes by at least three times a week to where I eat lunch to harrass my friends about picking up their garbage.

Disliked Man: Whose bag is that on the floor?!
Friends: Um. Er. Yeah. Um.
Inner Monologue: He's worried about them polluting the floor with a bag they aren't done eating out of... FREAK!
Me: Did you know you create a lot of pollution when you drive your car?
DM: Have you ever seen my car?
Me: Yes, I stalk you. You are just that interesting.
DM: I have a very fuel efficient car.
Me: Nonetheless, it pollutes. Maybe you should skateboard, or ride a bike, or take the bus to work. Carpooling saves the environment!
DM: Oh yes, I live 45 miles away, I'll skateboard to school.
Me: It'd build up your leg muscles.
DM: Maybe I should get a job closer to home.
Me: Now that's a great idea! You could do community service in your own neighborhood. Instead of telling us to pick up our garbage, you could pick up other people's in your own living area.
DM: HAW! Yeah!
Me: You should become a vegan too... because... the birds and the... cows would be your friends.

And then he walked away. I love telling people to do stuff that I would NEVER do. I went against my word, but I almost convinced him to get a new job. So in my mind, I win... and so does my math teacher.

2002-03-20T16:02:00.000-08:00

::censored::

2002-03-17T00:58:00.000-08:00

The picture is just too funny for me not to post it

2002-03-15T20:40:00.000-08:00

New picture. It's a doozy. WOO! (check it out on the sidebar)

2002-03-14T20:41:00.000-08:00

WOW! WHAT A SURPRISE!

Registration is due tomorrow. I've made some changes (hopefully for the better) in my high school goals. I've decided that fun is the most important thing, and the classes I have now are not fun.

My schedule now:
French 2
Honors English
P.E.
IPS (science)
Honors World Geography
Integrated Math 2

Now, I like French and all, but not enough to sacrafice a year of cooler electives. Also, honors is just like regular classes with more homework and tougher grading. I figure if I don't do honors, I'll have less homework and my GPA will go up.

Here's what I signed up for next year:
First semester:
Regular American Studies
Regular 10th grade English
Biology
Integrated Math 3
Drivers Ed
Art Intro (have to take it to be able to take better art classes)

Second semester:
Same academic classes
Team Sports (P.E. credit)
Photography

I think I made wise decisions. According to me, next year will be pretty kick ass.

2002-03-11T21:34:00.000-08:00

Your Results:

You were male in your last earthly incarnation.

You were born somewhere around the territory of what is now know as modern Scotland, approximately in the year 850.

Your profession was: seaman, cook, carpenter.

A brief psychological profile of you in that past life:
Natural talent of psychologist, you knew how to use the opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.

A lesson that your last past life wishes you to learn in your present life is:
The timid, lonely and self-confident people are everywhere, and your problem -- to overcome these tendencies in yourself and then to help other people.

do you remember?

Damn, I'm a sucker for these things.

2002-03-09T20:53:00.000-08:00

I think the brown dots on my pants make them look better. In the philosophy of Kate. (No more code names, they all know who you are)

I pulled another one of those all-nighters again. Sleeping just seems like a waste of night to me. The days aren't worth anything ... night is when I feel the best. Also, I'm expanding my vocabulary and spelling skillz by playing late-night literati. *side note* For those of you who don't know what literati is, it's like scrabble, except yahoo style.

Naturally, I didn't wake up until past 12. Try 12.30. I got the message from Ty that I was supposed to be at Kate's house at 2 when she, Jeehah, and Mikel came over to check up on me yesterday. The bastards (not Ty) threw snowballs at my house so I locked their asses out. I'm drifting....

Ate my brunch (burrito) and went over to Kate's where we had to do a group project for English. It's a scene from Romeo and Juliet that we have to memorize lines and act it out for the class. We're doing the best one, in my opinion, where they all die and we can all move on with our lives. I'm Balthasar. I get money and threats.

All we did today was make the backdrop for our scene. We rock.. it's so bitchin'. That's where the brown spots come in. I painted the ground and the tree so, of course, I got paint all over the place.

I eat my dinner and I sit. I'm sure SJ will agree when I say, cold phad thai fuckin' owns.

2002-03-08T14:10:00.000-08:00

SNOW DAY, HURRAY!

It snowed a lot last night, and I was totally convinced that there would be no school today. I was partly right, because if you check the time I wrote this, you'd see that school is still in.

I woke up this morning at my normal time of 6.11 AM, forgot about the snow, and kept hitting my snooze button until 6.45. At this point I decided that I should make sure that school really was cancelled. I go upstairs only to be met by my mother at the top step.

"I was watching the tv and they said Shoreline School District is delayed. Don't worry about going to school. Just go back to bed. The roads are pretty icy and there are cars lined up on the sides of streets so I'm not going to work unless it clears up."

"SWEET! Good night." *runs back to bed*

At about 9.30 I heard my mom leave, so I got up and watched some fine television. (7th Heaven without the booze, and then John Edwards Crossing Over!)

Let's see if anyone else didn't go to school...

So I went online and only one other person never made it to school, so he and I have been playing literati and wishing that we could play in the snow together. But, alas, he lives too far away from me. No big deal... I'll just go eat some snow.

2002-03-06T19:34:00.000-08:00

This just noticed: A majority of the hits I get come from google where people have typed in the keywords "I had sex with my sister". Hurray for incest! ehhh.....

2002-03-06T19:26:00.000-08:00

Responsible Morgan: Wow, you really should be doing your math homework right now...
Procrastinator Morgan: Nah, you have better things to be doing, like cleaning out all the trash in your backpack.
RM: You sure will regret this later.
PM: Yeah, she's probably right, but it won't last that long.
RM: She has a point there.
Both: Clean your backpack and then sit around some more. Everything will be juuuuuust fine.

My inner voices are pretty cool, if you ask me. They always tell me what I want to hear.

2002-03-06T18:56:00.000-08:00

I do things for entertainment. A couple nights ago my friend told me to write an e-mail to this person I don't know telling him to "take me off the list". There is no list, we were just messing with him. This is the e-mail I wrote:

I don't know how you could do this to me. I know I stopped talking to you after "the incident", but you didn't have to go and put me on the list. I only wished you the best of luck when I left that next morning, but you wouldn't just take the 50 and my apology. You had to turn around and shove it right back in my face! Well, all I have to say to you is YOU CAN TAKE YOUR LICE-RIDDEN SHEETS AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR GOD FORSAKEN ASS!

Thanks a lot for that, by the way. The doctor said that was the worse case he'd seen in years. You could have told me about your condition. But no, I gave you my drinking money when I could have been paying off the physician fees.. or at least drowning my sorrows from the physician fees.

Back to what I was initially writing this e-mail for:

If you don't take me off the goddamned list, I'm going to call my large and hot-tempered brother, Clarence, and he'll MAKE you take it off.

You make me sick. If I were a waitress, I'd spit in your morning coffee. If I were a pilot, I'd crash the plane just because you were on it. If I were a preacher, I'd condemn you to hell before you got a chance to relinquish your sins in the holy water of Jesus Christ himself!

This is the last time I'm going to tell you and you better take it to heart. Take me off the list.

Today I got a reply from him...

What list are you talking about?

I must say that your e-mail was interesting. Very elaborate.

I have to say, that was so worth it.

2002-03-01T16:22:00.000-08:00

I feel like sharing my poem! So here it is..

I held my position
In the backseat
Of the four door sedan.
The focus was on the waves
Repeatedly sloshing on the sand.

I don't focus properly.

I couldn't help noticing
That my thumbs
Strangely resembled pangea.
They moved slowly outward,
Then shook out of line.

The mountainous figure in the front seat had a spasm.

In my lost thoughts,
All I could think to say was,
"I hate you for making my hands move."

2002-02-28T21:13:00.000-08:00

Oh My Achin'...

Time to whine.

This constant heartburn is making me mad. My legal guardian says I should go to the doctor because I could very well have (dun dun dun) acid reflux disease. That would suck. That would mean that I would have to take the purple pill. Zertec? I don't know.. something like that.

School! Not a whole lot of fun. I feel I should be doing something different than answering questions like "If you hit your head against a wall, would you get a head ache?". MAYBE! (Yes, that was a real question from last night's.. ahem STAR's... homework) Well, if I get my permission slip in on time, I should be going on a field trip. That'll be cool... I'll get to miss (and make up) Mista Witt's class.

Here's the latest funny thing that happened in his class:

We had to blow up balloons and stick them on little cars to make them go fast. He said it was a "lab", but I think it was just busy work. After about 10 minutes, he decided to collect the cars and balloons. Me, being half rebelious and half bored, decided to keep the balloon.

Me: *chomps on balloon*
Mista Witt: Oh... you're going to keep the balloon?
Me: Yup.
Mista Witt: Well, they weren't really for personal use...
Me: You were just going to throw them away anyways.
Mista Witt: You don't know that.
Me: OH MAN SICK! Nobody wants to use a balloon that somebody else's mouth has been on! Especially when the person that used it before was sick...
Mista Witt: That's why you used a mouth piece on the balloon.
Me: *sigh* When you blow a balloon, your spit---
Mista Witt: umm..Just get back to work. *walks away quickly*

I taught him!

On a side note: Lost my momma again. Hope I find her.

2002-02-27T21:45:00.000-08:00

Yes, this IS what I do in my spare time, thanks.

2002-02-27T20:57:00.000-08:00

Which Weezer Song are You?

2002-02-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

I am JIMMY EAT WORLD.

Find out which band you are!

2002-02-22T21:27:00.000-08:00

A Night On The Town

My friend, Jeehah, and I had been planning to see the Radiohead laser show for a while. Finally, last night, we went to see it. IFC came with us too. It didn't go exactly as planned, but it was fun nonetheless.

We get there at 7.30, and are running because they close the doors after it starts. We buy the tickets and start walking toward the laser door.

Me: UMMMM! You guys, why does this ticket say N*sync with Britney?!?!??!?!?!
Jeehah: Uh oh..
Me: When was the last time you looked at the schedule?
Jeehah: Last week?
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I want to see Radiohead!!!!

We went to the show anyways, and it was really fun. Because pop songs are so easy to know all the words to, we sang along and eventually, at one point, got up and danced to "Bye Bye Bye".

Me: Well, that was fun, but I really wanted to see Radiohead.
Anouncer lady: Radiohead's up next at 9.
Me: *GASP* CAN WE STAY, YOU GUYS?!?!?!??!?!
IFC and Jeehah: We have to call our parents.

It turned out that Jeehah's parents are not into picking their kid up and IFC's and my mom were too drunk to drive. So, we each told our parents a different story about how we were getting home, except mine because she suggested that we take a cab and she'd pay.

After getting the ride situation worked out, we went to buy our REAL Radiohead tickets and encountered some fans.

Fans: You mean you actually sat through the N*sync one?!
Us: HELL YEAH WE DID! AND WE ENJOYED IT TOO!
Fans: uhh...

Radiohead kicked some major ass, I'll tell you! Afterwords, I called the cab and we took it home.

Cab Driver: Where you going?
Me: Shoreline.
Cab Driver: What ecit?
Me: What exit?
Cab Driver: Yees.
IFC: 176
Cab Driver: 175?
Us: Sure.

Next week: LASER FLOYD!!! WOOOO!!!

2002-02-22T20:56:00.000-08:00

Fun Times At The Grocery Store

This "mid-winter break" is the most boring break so far this year. Mine and IFC's only other friend is on an Idaho trip with Mallory "Water Bra" Bell. In our spare time, we like to sit around, shop, and do new things. This time I told her that I bet she couldn't eat seven tacos. We said, "Let's not eat breakfast so we can eat a lot of tacos for lunch." And so it was. We walked up to Aurora to catch the bus to Taco Bell, but first made a pit stop at the local QFC, for I, having no meat on my bones, needed a snack before I died of hunger.

Enter QFC

IFC: You need food because you're anorexic!
Me: Dude, shut up. I'm buying food to EAT because I'm acknowledging the fact that I'm HUNGRY!
IFC: Oh, right, that would make me the anorexic one.. because I'm not eating.
Me: Maybe...
IFC: It's funnier to call you anorexic.

Mind you, I'm laughing the entire time because we are just joking around.

Enter checkout line

IFC: YOU'RE ANOREXIC!
Me: *laughing histerically* IT'S NOT FUNNY! I'M NOT LAUGHING!
Checkout Guy: That's right. It's not funny. My friend died.
IFC: HEY! Can we get one of those dollars in quarters.

Exit QFC

Me: I think you pissed him off because you didn't care or respond to his friend dying.
IFC: I don't care!
Me: Yes, I know.

Once we got to Taco Bell, IFC bought the 10 taco combo and only managed to eat 5 and a half before I made her stop. Why did I make her stop? Because I REALLY did not want to see creamed taco all over the table. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

IFC: For the record, you made me stop! I could have eaten 7!
Me: I'm sure you could...

2002-02-22T20:37:00.000-08:00

The Welcome Wagon Comes A-ridin'

Being welcomed into a new neighborhood just makes my day! Especially when it's from an eccentric old snoop that lives behind me...

First day moved in:
So there I am, fresh out of the shower, drying off when I hear a loud banging coming from the front door. I figure it must be my mom, locked out or something because the knocking and doorbell ringing persisted for about 7-10 minutes. Finally, I go to the door half annoyed and half concerned at what the problem could be.

*opens the door just a crack*
Me: Hello?
Lady:HELLOOOOOOOOO!!! My name is KATHY! KATHY RICE! I saw your sign a couple days ago and now it's gone. Did the people move out already?
Me: Yes, we live here now.
Kathy Rice: OOOOOHHHH! SPLENDID! Who else lives here with you?
Me: My mom.
Kathy Rice: Such a BIIIIIIG house for only you and your mom.
Me: Yup.
Kathy Rice: Well, I live in that old rambler behind you. You know, the little log cabin. I just thought I'd STOP BY and say HI! I watch your backyard sometimes... for, you know, prowlers. You can never be too careful these days! I may be 85, but I haven't lost my marbles yet!!!!! hehehehheheh I have this little car parked in your driveway there. I like it. It does me good... *says more things that I missed*
Me: Uh huh.
Kathy Rice: SOOOO Do you babysit?!?!?!
Me: Sometimes.
Kathy Rice: Oh. Well... I don't have kids.
Me: Okay.
Kathy Rice: OHHH! I didn't catch your name. What is it?
Me: Morgan.
Kathy Rice: No, I want to know your first name.
Me: Morgan.
Kathy Rice: But that's your last name.
Me: No, it's not. Morgan is my name.
Kathy Rice: *giggles* Your parents must have been expecting a boy when they had you!
Me: It's a girl's name too!
Kathy Rice: Well, I may be 85 but I haven't lost my marbles yet! Back in my day, men in the movies were named Morgan.
Me: Okay.
Kathy Rice: Well, I better be going now. I hope I didn't wake you up from a nap or anything.
Me: Actually, I just got out of the shower.....
Kathy Rice: AHH! You should never answer the door in a towel! You don't know what kind of people there are out there. I'm a good neighbor, but you know.
Me: *thinks to herself: BUT YOU WOULDN'T GO AWAY!!!!* I'll keep that in mind.
Kathy Rice: Anyway, when you make your rounds in the neighborhood introducing yourself, be sure to stop by and see me! Kathy Rice! You can't forget Rice! RICE RICE RICE! I sometimes call myself rice pudding because I love it so much. HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!
Me: Thanks, you too.

Rounds on the neighborhood? SHA RIGHT!

2002-02-20T15:39:00.000-08:00

Which Kids In The Hall recurring character are YOU?

Sweet....

2002-02-16T13:43:00.000-08:00

My Life Is Incomplete

Well, we moved. But that was about a week ago now and unfortunately our internet connection was set up wrong. So I got a phone call saying that I should have internet again by the 22nd. Hopefully the 22nd of THIS month.

Sit tight and I'll be back with new and exciting things to complain about!

Love, Morgan.

2002-02-03T13:49:00.000-08:00

Waiting

I hate living in the process of being blown off. You sit waiting, not knowing if the person you have plans with will ever call you...

I'm supposed to go shopping today with my friend but she hasn't called me yet. I called her but she wasn't home. I can't go anywhere because she might call. I hate waiting. I'm very impatient when it comes to stuff like this. I need to get up and go.

I could be packing up, but there are no boxes because my mom took them all to the new house already. I could be doing my homework, but I don't have any. I could be reading, but I'd be dwelling on the fact that I'm probably being blown off. I could go outside, but if she called, I wouldn't be able to pick up the phone. I could be eating, but I'm not hungry. I could be watching tv, but I'd fall asleep.

I know what I can do! I'll look at my scars!

Let's see... I think I'll start with my chin. That was the only time I ever had stitches. It was the summer of second grade, and I was at Kindercare, an unsanitary day care for one to ten year olds. For about two hours of those long days we got to go outside and play on the tiny playground equipment. It was my favorite part of the day because it was the only time I could escape the muggy, stinky, child-smelling jail for kiddies.My favorite thing to do was play on the monkey bars. I would get up on top of them and do back flips off of them, among many other tricks. This fateful afternoon I decided to slip inbetween the bars instead of going off the sides or the ends. Big mistake. My chin said I good hello the bar as I fell that short-but-oh-so-long distance. Stumbling to the office I counted my injuries: bloody chin, loose teeth, head ache, and the ability to see funny colors. I had baseball practice a couple days later where I acquired the wonderful nickname Whiskers.

Oh here's a winner. The scar on my lip I got when I was one-ish. I don't remember it, but the story goes something like this. I was just learning to pull up on things and I had the wonderful idea to pull up on the sharp-cornered tv. Of course, I slipped and split my lip. I was too little to have stitches.

The most recent scar I got ice skating. I was lucky to leave with just a scar on my ankle from the uncomfortable ice skates. Mikel, on the other hand, was not so lucky. He came out with a *still* broken nose and a big gash on his nose from someone else's ice skate.

Well looky here! My friend DIDN'T blow me off. Looking at my scars really passed the time. I'm off to shopping now.

2002-02-02T21:56:00.000-08:00

.com what?

Even though I do not belong to the Seattle Webloggers, I decided to make a stunning apperance at tonight's meeting. You want the truth? I went with my sister, I, Asshole since she is part of it and lives in Seattle. Damn these suburbs. Anywhoot, I have to say that I had no clue what a lot of the people there were talking about because it was mostly computer lingo, which I am not down on. I'm lucky to know how to work this thing with the letters on it. I bet you're dying to know what I did when I didn't understand what people were saying, aren't you? Of course you are.

First: Oh look. There's some paper that I can fold into various items. I made a couch and a worm which then multiplied into two worms that were a married couple. There was a sharpie nearby that I drew faces on them with. The husband had some nice stubble and a sad look on his face, and the woman was PISSED because the man worm didn't have a job. They carried the couch with them where ever they went. You bet the couch had a label on it: "couch".

Next: There were sound effects coming from the worms. "Get a job you dead beat!!!" The man worm had acute depression. The waiter would come by periodically and I would talk to him too. His name was Scott. We carpool together.

Finally: I had my coat with me. Might as well look through the pockets, right? I found some coins, Starbursts tropical flavor candies, and this keychain that I got from health class. It states: "Today I choose to save sex until my wedding night as a gift of love and commitment and intamacy for the person I will marry." And then there's a line where you can sign it. I haven't even taken it out of the plastic.

Back when I was in health class, we were doing our sex ed unit, and this 7 month pregnant Australian woman comes into our class to talk to us about abstinance. Already I was skepitcal because she was pregnant.....
Here's how her talk went: "You should save sex until you get married. I was a virgin until I was 24 years old and I will never regret it! I was traveling and I met this American sailor and we just fell in love! I saved myself for him until our honeymoon. And then I got pregnant. BUT THAT'S OKAY! Because I love him! Here, have a pencil that says 'I'm worth waiting for'."

The look on my face is easier done than said. It was pretty much dazed eyes and mouth hanging open in disbelief that this person was saying this to me. We all got a good laugh out of that key chain...

I told the waiter to call me, but I don't think he has my number.

2002-01-30T16:46:00.000-08:00

Boobies

I live in a world where stupid girls wear low cut shirts with padded bras on. I don't want to see them bending over all the time and showing me their stuffing. Hell no.

Speaking of fake boobs, there was a small water bra craze in my 'group' that I wasn't aware of until a couple mornings ago. Since the beginning of the year, I've been pretty social on the bus, but then I became obsessed with Radiohead and my CD player has been my only companion. The point to that is I was only half paying attention to the conversations around me. I only heard key words like bra, then water infront of bra...

I look up and see Mallory taking off her bra and putting a different one on.

Me: What are you doing?
Mallory: Putting on Ty's water bra.
Me: *turns up Radiohead*

Then I see her adjusting herself, but it's not working very well because the bra is too large for her. You know those ladies that have the boobs that go down to their waste? That's kind of what it looked like, except with water filling. Ahh yes. I don't have to leave the comfort of my neighborhood to see these kinds of things. Hurrah.

Mallory: TTTYYYY Will you adjust me?
Me: Oh mi gawd.

I then averted my attention to the trees out the window while Mallory's shirt went up and Ty made the straps the smallest they would go.

Ty: Mallory, I don't think this will fit you. It's not your size. You're too small.
Mallory: nonononononono It'll fit! I'm not that small.
Me: Oh mi gawd.

I thought the horror was over. Check this shiot out!

Me: I woke up sucking a lemon.....
Ty: .... and then I realized that Mikel broke my bra.
Me: Hooooolllllld on there! Did you just say Mikel broke your bra?
Ty: Yeah, that's why I need the bra Mallory's wearing back soon because I only have one left.
Me: I don't want to know, but then again I do. What happened?
Ty: I was over at Mikel's house... and.... I think you know what happened.
Me: blah!

I love starring in my soap opera. It's so full of surprises. *sigh* Hey Jeehah, I love Radiohead.

2002-01-23T15:49:00.000-08:00

EEK

I have to meet mom's new boyfriend tonight. His name is "Wild Bill". I've met new boyfriends a million times and I still dread it. I don't want to know them. There isn't a specific reason, I just don't enjoy it.

My mom's last boyfriend was name Bill Morgan, so IFC and I call my mom's new boyfriend Bill SJ . hahahah.. .oh so funny.

Anyways, wish me luck on meeting another boyfriend.

2002-01-20T22:21:00.000-08:00

I'm having fun, aren't you?

Damn this curse-ed laundry. There used to be the weekly trips to the laundromat and then we got lazy. Now we have to deal with the four washers and dryers shared by the entire three story building. I find it convenient to have the laundry room right down the hall instead of hauling laundry baskets in and out of the car, but the facilities here suck multiple asses all at the same time. I find it more enjoyable to do it all at the same time than spending a dollar on each load twice while battling other people for the machines. I hate those stupid people that make me put their clothes else where so I can dry my clothes.

I say we all go naked. Who needs clothes? It would sure as hell be better than having to wash them all the time. Do like the cave men. If you're cold, then put on a skin. But I hear the whinners "DON'T KILL THE BEARS!!" You have your poly cotton blends. Use those, ya pansies. Actually, I don't want to kill a bear, but I don't want to do laundry anymore!

I'll give you 2 dollars if you do it for me. Let me know if you're up for it.

2002-01-15T16:28:00.000-08:00

Science aka The Almost Sad Comedy Hour.. Or Two

Toothpick bridges. I have just one word to say to that: WHY?

Mista Witt is a damn foo'. He made everyone in our class pick and partner and glue toothpicks together in a random fashion hoping for a bridge. Over the past two weeks or so, Mallory and I have been putting off the construction until the week before it was due. We really did try to make it correctly, but it seems that neither of us are coordinated enough to keep toothpicks and elmers glue in an upright and locked position. Last night we said to hell with it and did the best we could with our crumbled-for-the-tenth-time bridge.

"Just pour the damn glue over the whole thing!"
"Sounds good to me."
"It'll break anyways. Might as well try more adhesive."

Today was testing day. We were ready to be humiliated with it all, but then suddenly we stopped caring and found the whole thing utterly hilarious. I think the worst part was that he made us get our picture taken with our bridge. I didn't look at Mallory, but I made sure to give the camera a nice scowl.

Mista Witt: Morgan and Mallory, you're up.
Me to the class: Get ready to laugh, because this is going to be really funny.
Mista Witt to the class: Write down your guess down on how much the bridge will hold.
Class: Ahem.. cough cough... ZERO
Me: Yeah yeah, I know. Let's be optimisic and say two pounds, huh? Alright!

I laughed so hard I was crying as the bridge would not break because it was being supported by the cardboard it was built far too low on. Good news though. It held not two, but two and a half pounds. I was very proud. So proud, in fact, that when I got my bridge back, I punched it and wore the broken pieces on my head.... as a sort of crown. I am the royal procrastinator. Hear these words: Never in my life will I make another toothpick bridge.

2002-01-10T18:30:00.000-08:00

Morgan, You Baaaad Girl

Science is definitely my LEAST favorite class. That man hates me.. and Mallory and a couple other girls. I can be sitting there, minding my own business, being quiet, taking notes, and he still tells me to shut up. Today, I had enough and decided to prove his point. Well, I guess I didn't decide it because when he finally warned me for the last time, I wasn't doing anything.

It's funny how Mallory asks perfectly legitiment questions and he yells at her to stop being annoying and disrupting class. I don't see how you can be sitting there doing something QUIET, and you still get accused of disrupting class.

Anyways.. this is how it went down:

Mr. Witt: What other kind of bonding is there?
Mallory (talking to me): Isn't one covalent bonding?
Mr Witt: AHHH! Mallory!!! Stop talking!!! YOU GO SIT OVER THERE!
Mallory: What the hell....

So she goes and sits on the other side of the room. She acts like her normal self, calling out answers and asking "annoying" qustions and he calls her helpful and says she changed her attitude sitting by him. He sends her back to her seat. So I'm sitting there, bored as hell, and I'm just playing with my pen (trying not to talk so he won't get pissed again). I look over at him every once in a while and notice him mean mugging me. So I give him the raised-eyebrow, what's-so-interesting-look and go back to sticking the pen in my eye. Mallory looks over at me and goes "AHH! Don't do that!!" and smacks the pen out of my hand.

Mr. Witt: THAT'S IT!! MORGAN! YOU GO SIT OVER THERE!
Me: hahahahahaha Can do!
Mr Witt: You're being really annoying!
Me: Thanks, appreciate you noticing.

Mallory was talking and she got to go back to her seat. I sat there quietly and had to stay till the end of the period. Where's the logic??

2002-01-06T18:23:00.000-08:00

Packing It Up Again

Well, my mom bought a house and we're scheduled to move again. We've moved so many times, it doesn't even bother me anymore. And to think, I lived in one place for 10 years, save a few months when the parents broke up. After my parents got divorced, it has been moving every six months to a year- even if it has been in the same area of town.

I know I have my dad that would be a stable place for me to live, but I don't want to live with him. There's nothing against him or anything. I just prefer living with my mom. I think moving around to different states has made me a well rounded person, as a plus side. I met a couple of my best friends along the way, too. Sure it's hard, but it just teaches me to be more social to meet people.

There was really only one time that I just could not find any friends.. in North Carolina. My parents divorced when I was 10 and my mom and I had moved out of my dad's house and moved into a condo on the other side of town. I would visit my dad every other weekend or so while my mom would do something with her boyfriend.. not yet fiance. When I was at my mom's house, he would pretty much aquire my space and drive me insane with his cocky attitude and constant freshly smoked cigarette smell. I found myself crying a lot but was not at the age where I would be away from mom for more than five minutes at a time, unless I was parked infront of the tv. So where ever my mom was, I was. Where ever my mom was, he was. I was around him all the time and despised him. After christmas, we moved into his house. Joy.

I fear to say that I was spoiled. I was given pretty much whatever I wanted to console my brittle feelings. Sure it was great, but I would have given it all up to get rid of him. I guess you could say that I was very territorial. One day, I was surveyed.

"How would you feel about moving to North Carolina?"
"Ummmmmm....?"
This is the part where they sensed that I was terribly unsure. Bring in the bribery!
"We'd have a boat!"
"Hmmmmmmm"
They still sense hesitation. Now it's time to give me options.
"Would you rather live with your mom or your dad?"
Ahh shit. They broke out the high cards.
"Mom..."
Fine. I'll go to North Carolina.

So we drove down there from Illinois. I put on the mask of being excited. I had switched schools once before, but that was different. It had been in the same state. I was really nervous. The only thing I had to look forward to was a huge room and a pretty nice house but those were only material things. I was going into a new world and the only people I knew were my mom and a guy that I barely knew and strongly disliked. I figured I would die before the feeling went away.

After a couple of weeks I went back to school. I left Illinois in the middle of fifth grade and even though I was more advanced than the kids in North Carolina, I still had to finish. I felt like a complete loner. It didn't bother me that much. It was only when there were group projects and whatnot that I had to do with other people that I would get uneasy. There was pretty much only one type of person there.. and I can't tell you what that was because I don't even know what it was. All I knew was, I did not fit in with that one group. Luckily, our stay in North Carolina did not last into the third week of sixth grade.

To be continued....

2001-12-31T23:34:00.000-08:00

Breakin' In The New Year Like Shoes

So Morgan, what are your New Year's resolutions?

I really only have one and that's write my bible. Otherwise, I do not really care about doing anything else. *Breaks into an MTV scene* EXCEPT HAVE FUN!! WOO!!! ... ahem... Sorry about that.

I would consider myself a not very superstitious person, but if I encounter Taro cards (NOT READ BY MISS CLEO!) or Ouija boards, I tend to believe them. It's funny because if I see a broken mirror, I blow it off as nothing. If I'm playing with a Ouija board, that mirror has to be out of sight. I don't really understand it, I just think if you do it, you have to get in that kind of mood.

I used to be afraid of Ouija boards. When I lived in Phoenix, my friend Nicki and I would sometimes have huge sleepovers and they would all play it while I sat there and watched, horrified as the pointer moved by itself. They would play other games like light as a feather stiff as a board. The whispering voices repeating that in sync all ways made me nervous.

I have over come those fears two years later. I think, again, for the lack of caring. IFC, BB, and I all had a "spiritual night" this past Saturday. IFC got a glow-in-the-dark Ouija board for Christmas and BB likes the Taro. I suppose this was our last hurrah before we go back to school. It's amazing how fast Ouija gets boring. Actually, no it's not. We run out of good questions because we usually only have about three. Taro gets boring fast too because it's pointless to do more than one reading so we racked our memory for silly little games we thought were scary back in the day. They weren't scary, but they were amusing. I got four hours of sleep that night and some how managed to take advantage of the night after. I'm crazed.

Alas, tonight is the last night I get to stay up late until Friday. I don't enjoy school at all. How come my don't care attitude doesn't apply to school too? If I didn't care, I wouldn't have any feelings toward it, and it might make it easier to deal with. I think there is a chemical that seeps into your brain the first day of first grade that doesn't allow you to not have feelings about school. "One way or another, we're gonna getcha", they said devilishly after taking it from Blondie.
Not only do they hate kids, but they don't follow copyright laws either! What's wrong with them?!

*Counts on her fingers* Less than six months left! Nice.

2001-12-27T17:43:00.000-08:00

Morgan Relics On Sale In The Gift Shop

I suppose I could expand on my religion a little bit.

Name: Morganism
The point: There really isn't one. This is the kind of thing where you use your imagination. Kind of like a color-by-number. You don't really need to follow the numbers. You can put in whatever color you damn well please! To explain without being all metaphorical, if you feel like drinking everyday is a way of showing that you care about Morganism, then by all means- drink away. If you feel that smoking pot, over eating, kicking small children, praticing without a license will show you care about Morganism- you can do that too. The only way you can "sin" and not get into any of my kick ass parties (some might know this as heaven) is if you do something to offend me. I haven't really worked all that out yet, but I don't think you can offend me so much that you can't come to my party very easily.
What the "kick ass party" is like: Are you having fun yet? If you said yes, then you are at the party. Are you a cranky pants? Then you are in my special hell.
What the "special hell" is like: It's like watching a Julia Roberts marathon followed up by an Oprah marathon. Then while you're on the last episode, Barney comes in and hugs you. Ohh! And then while Barney is hugging you, a single file line of idiots come in and say the stupidest things you have ever heard in your life that makes you want to kick them, but you can't kick them because you are covered in a moist slime that enables you to move! Then they play Warm 106.9 and force you to call in telling them about your problems that you are having in "special hell". But do they help you??? NO!! They give children that only want their dad to get money for his treatments Toys 'R' Us gift certificates! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things go on like that for eternity.

Want to join? Just send $25 to Find Your Classmates and I'll send you an "I Love Morgan" button, poster, and a coffee mug.. along with the handy bible that I'll be writing up later tonight.

Now for the fine print. Get out your bifocals!

Morgan is not liable for any hurt feeling, wills, over doses, or any other human mishap. Morgan is not liable for broken coffee mugs. The $25 is non refundable due to the fact that she is not associated with Find Your Classmates. Do not expect the bible to be over 2 pages. Morgan can not assure you that "the kick ass party"or the "special hell" will actually come in to affect... ever. Morgan is not a God. Morgan may disappear unexpectedly because of financial problems. Morgan is not to blame for any way people might show they care about Morganism. Morgan has nothing to offer anyone except for herself and a select few that she likes. Morgan does not love everyone and is not always likely to forgive you if you beg for forgivness. Morgan is not always in a good mood. Morgan is only human. Morgan gets zits too. She cannot cure your acne or anyother bodily problem. Praying is a waste of time. Morgan cannot grant you any wishes except for the humanly possible ones that don't involve money and can only grant these wishes on the days that she is motivated enough. Morganism is not a real religion but Morgan does appreciate the following. If you have any questions, call her laywer.

Remember: If you are special, I might love you.. but I'm not for sure. Who are you again?

2001-12-24T20:18:00.000-08:00

What day is it again?

I like how nobody that I talk to acknowledges that it's Christmas eve. Not sarcastic like either. It's just another normal day. You've probably heard this a million times, but I feel since it is so close to this holiday, that I must show my distaste (or opinion) for it.

Lights. I think they're one of the ugliest things known to man. Right up there with road kill and Julia Roberts. I know I'm being a bit of a hypocrite since I have lights hanging up in my room, but it's the reason the lights are hanging there that makes them ugly. Go out and buy some colored things on a string to show spirit? Sounds like fun to me. OH and then there are the patriotic lights. I don't think showing spirit to your country on a money crazed holiday like this is a way to show you "love your country".

Music. Oh my ears! I can't stand Christmas music. It's so annoying! I think that's all I have to say about that.

Well, I can't be a full fledged anti-Christmasian because I do like the presents part. I think I'll get over that in a couple years.

I DO have my own religion (or something) that these kids at my school created called Morganism. Don't ask me why they started it. Maybe it's because I'm so awesome! But NONETHELESS! I could start my own holiday where.... cool stuff happened..... and... other things happened. Hell, I don't know. Any ideas?

2001-12-22T22:23:00.000-08:00

WHERE DID MY TEMPLATE GO??

No one knows.

There are lots of things that I could be doing, but I seem to not want to do anything yet want to do something really badly. I'm in a state of crisis!

Here are some things that I could be doing:

1) Playing with my ribbon dancer.
2) Cleaning my room.
3) Polishing the shoes of well-to-do business men.
4) Restocking Coke machines.
5) Dressin' up all fancy and dancin' on a street corner next to hoes! - wadda ta
6) Stitching quilts for the cold.
7) Writing my own dictionary.
8) Coming up with cures for memory loss, stolen keys, broken jaws, etc.
9) Finding a use for Spam... and Spam Lite.
10) Figuring out something better to write than this.

I feel better now. :)

2001-12-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

When You Have Nothing Better To Be Doing

I'd just like to say that I spent a good portion of last night looking for strange things online for my friend, Jason.

Here are the things that I found:

top
middle
bottom

He's making something.... It's not done yet. :)